The Forgiveness Antidote

As it storms outside, I can hear the rain pouring down, washing away pollen and cleansing the environment. This time of year is often associated with “Spring cleaning,” as we purge our homes of things we no longer need, rearrange and organize our surroundings for more clarity and less chaos, and deep clean in order to create a new, fresh slate. Perhaps we can use this season as a reminder to do a little deep cleaning for our minds, hearts, and souls as well. We often carry things with us that do not serve us, and that would be better off discarded. Perhaps that looks like old grudges, anger, or resentment towards someone. Maybe you’re holding onto feelings of betrayal or hurt, unresolved misunderstandings, differences of opinion, or words said or left unsaid. Those negative emotions can weigh on your heart, mind, and soul like a foot of dust and grime, but when cleansed away, can leave you feeling light, happy, and renewed.

There is a quote I’ve heard throughout the years that I often use - “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” (I’ve also seen “resentment” replaced with “anger,” “unforgiveness,” and “holding a grudge” in this quote.) This simile is so powerful in depicting how holding on to anger often does much more harm to us than to whom our anger is directed. Think about a time when you were really upset with someone. Perhaps you remember it occupying your thoughts for a large part of your day. Maybe you even had trouble sleeping. You may have found yourself often lost in thought with imaginary arguments or confrontations, planning out how the conversation would go, if only given the opportunity. Chances are you were probably not in the best mood, and were maybe even cranky with your friends and family - people who didn’t deserve to be subjected to the byproducts of your unresolved feelings. Looking back, it may be surprising to realize the impact of these negative emotions, and how they were keeping you from feeling like your best self.

Now here’s the real kicker…

More often than not, the other person with whom you were angry does not even know, care, or feel any pain or punishment as a result of your anger! You may be thinking, “Wait, what?! You mean to tell me that while I’m fuming over here and being negatively affected by this situation, the other person is just living their life in peace?” Yes, my friend, yes.

But the good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way. Introducing the power of FORGIVENESS. Now I don’t want to deceive anyone into thinking that this is always easy; however, it can be possible and life-changing for all of us. It can be such a powerful tool to assist us in releasing those feelings and emotions that aren’t serving us to make room for positive change in our lives. Forgiveness lifts us out from under the yolk of that anger or resentment and frees us. We often have no idea of the heaviness of that burden we are carrying until we are able to let it go.

Don’t be derailed by whether or not you think the person is deserving of your forgiveness…that has little to do with it. The heaviness of that anger is weighing you down just the same. Firstly, let’s not forget that we have all required forgiveness ourselves on more than one occasion throughout our lives, and will continue to do so in the future. But secondly, remember, forgiveness isn’t just for them, it is for you. Forgiveness doesn’t mean having to excuse behavior or forget what happened. It just means that you have chosen to let it go…for your peace and well-being. Grudges take space in our hearts and hold weight in our body. Releasing those feelings through forgiveness allows you to move forward with more ease and freedom. 

In our yoga practice, we often use breath to soften and release tension. This work on and off the mat can be a powerful tool to also help us let go of our anger through forgiveness. As we release, we make space for healing, joy, and peace - feelings that we deserve. When feelings of anger or resentment fester and ferment into toxic poison within us, allow forgiveness to be the antidote that frees us, fills us with light, and brings us back to life.